I've always distrusted cops. I can't help myself. It's like the hiccups or gag reflex. They have guns. They pull people over for doing 65 on the H-1. I knew a number of them before they became cops, and at times my reaction was, "So-and-so is a cop now? I thought there was a psyche test." Did I mention they have guns?

(Obligatory Reno 911 pic)

Gary Dias's Honolulu Cop: Reflections on a Career With HPD is an autobiography by a retired major who was in HPD from 1971 to 1998. It's a straight-forward read full of anecdotes that are often amusing--like how tranny hookers in 1970's downtown were required to wear "I am a boy" buttons, or how a bank robber slipped a teller a robbery note, a note written on a deposit slip from his personal checkbook. Dias is also critical of HPD at times, the criticism mostly aimed at bureaucracy or crime scenes corrupted by clueless cops. However, if there is a central theme to this book, it's this: Hey, don't hate on cops. Most are hard-working folks who do a sound job. Not the most compelling theme, but Dias's earnestness is undeniable. I have no doubt that Gary Dias is a good guy.

However, what interests me even more about this book is that in a way it's an unintentional character study of an old-school local guy. Old-school local guy rules that Dias follows:

1. No talk stink. Or not too much anyway.

2. If you do talk stink, talk about bosses or boneheads who lack common sense. Or the worst: bonehead lunas who lack common sense.

3. Tell ghost stories. People like ghost stories.

As I was reading this book, it dawned on me that this local mentality conflicts with compelling storytelling. To tell a compelling story, not only should you talk stink, but you should do so with brutal, reckless abandon, and this honesty cannot simply focus on easy targets. I'm not saying that all writing needs to be hyper-critical, but narrative light should shine on its subject so brightly that readers have no doubt that they have seen it in its entirety. After all, people are driven by their flaws as much as they are by their virtues.

That's my only real complaint about the book. The fear of offense is palpable. Insert god-awful simile here:

The pen is like a gun. If you are going to use it, don't be unsure of yourself. Aim and fire.

I know, a pretty terrible comparison. Feel free to comment with alternatives.

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