Things I did not do during the tsunami warning ...
You'll have your own list of things you did during the tsunami warning in Hawaii last Saturday, but here's my list of things I did not do. See if any of these sound familiar.
1. Head for the hills. Not that I wasn't advised to do that. In fact, we were awakened early Saturday morning by the phone ringing. This was after being up half the night watching the tsunami news on TV. So the phone rang at 5:45 a.m. At that hour I always mistake it for the alarm clock and hit the snooze button. But it keeps ringing, so I have to climb out of bed to answer the phone.
"Hello," I mumble, and I hear, "The tsunami alarm is about to sound. I want you to take everyone and go to Jean's house in Pearl City right now!" It's my wife's cousin calling from Rhode Island. I'm about to say that we're a mile from Waikiki and not in the evacuation zone, but he beats me to it. "I know you're only a mile from Waikiki, but Kapahulu Avenue is flat! It's all flat!" Well, yeah, it's flat, but I'm half asleep and don't want to argue. "Okay," I say. Then I try to go back to sleep.
Ten minutes later the phone rings again and it's Jean, my sister-in-law. "Guess who just called and he's frantic," she says. I can guess who. "He wants you all to come out to Pearl City." I wait for the "Kapahulu Avenue is flat!" line, but instead she says, "It's up to you. You're welcome here." I thank her and return to bed. We're all awake by now. We turn on the TV and leave it on for the rest of the day. Here it is Tuesday night and we still haven't evacuated. And Kapahulu Avenue is still flat.
2. Forget to eat. I already knew the drill from that morning back in 1992 when the Iniki sirens rousted us out of bed. One of the first things I did then was to start cooking half the food in the fridge. We expected to lose power. And on Saturday I was thinking that this might the last hot meal for days. We don't want the food to spoil and go to waste. Lots of good reasons to start cooking up a meal for a small army. For my tsunami warning breakfast I pulled out the daddy size skillet and cooked up bacon and eggs with toast and hashbrowns (no rice this time, sorry). I would have fried up some Spam, but we were down to one can of Spam Lite and I figured that would be our dinner entree one night.
3. Surf the tsunami. I learned that this is something you're not supposed to do from Guy Hagi, who was giving a good tsunami clinic on KGMB. I used to think that he was the surf reporter on KGMB, since 90% of the time he's talking surfing. So when he says not to surf the tsunami I listen.
In the middle of the morning I phoned my brother in Virginia (he had headed for the hills himself a few years ago, having retired from his city job). I assured him that we were safe and we would not be evacuating. He's been here before, and he's quite aware that Kapahulu Avenue is flat, but he did not remind me of that fact, for which I was grateful. For his reward I told him that Guy Hagi had a warning up on the TV screen that said "Never surf a tsunami." He laughed and told me he wouldn't. I plan to send him a "Never surf a tsunami" T-shirt for Christmas.
4. Grumble. In the past three days I've had several friends tell me about hearing some folks grumble about the tsunami warning. It was so inconvenient. It cost them some business. And so on. We shake our heads. Most of us were polite and behaved well. Everyone I know is so grateful that we were spared. The only thing I'm grumbling about these days is the grumblers.
5. Forget to fill up the bathtub with water. I usually forget this one, but on Saturday I was all over it. We had a tub full of cold water long before 11 a.m., and I was quite proud of myself. It's not a difficult task, but still you have to remember to do it. The hard part was after the tsunami warning passed. What do you do with a tub full of cold water? Take a cold bath? No, thank you. Water the plants? We were too tired from the excitement, and the huge breakfast, to haul water. So there it sits, a tub full of cold water. I asked my veterinarian friend in Tucson and she suggested that we could soak horse blankets in the tub. Hmmm. Maybe we can sell the "Hawaiian tsunami water" on eBay.
6. Fail to learn some interesting facts. In addition to the crash course in tsunamis from Guy Hagi and all the experts interviewed on camera Saturday, I learned some cool things I might never have known without the tsunami warning. For example, when Guy Hagi rushes to the KGMB studio on a Saturday morning and stands in front of the camera he wears jeans and a dress shirt and tie. Is that what they call casual chic? Later on, President Obama appears in front of the White House to make a statement; he's wearing a dark suit jacket, white shirt unbuttoned at the collar, and no tie. Not bad, but I think Guy Hagi won that one.
Another thing I learned is that Walt Dudley, one of the experts interviewed on the Big Island, is the father of Malika Dudley, Miss Hawaii 2005, who joined KGMB to report the weather in 2007. I was at the Wahine volleyball match at the Stan Sheriff last fall when Malika sang the National Anthem. The guys who sit in the same row for every match admitted they were big fans of Malika and watched her all the time. Then I confessed that I too was a big fan and that I couldn't stop staring at her long neck. Audrey Hepburn had nothing on Malika. Anyway, Malika sang beautifully, the Wahine won, and we all went home happy. Good memories can see you through lots of anxious times, even tsunami warnings.
So let's review. The next time the sirens go off, let's all resolve to (1) not head for the hills if we're not in an evacuation zone, even if Kapahulu Avenue is flat, (2) not forget to eat, (3) never surf a tsunami, (4) not grumble, (5) not forget to fill the bathtub with water, and (6) not fail to learn some interesting facts. I don't know about you, but I feel a whole lot smarter than I used to.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:38 am
Great tsunami report, Michael. My favorite memory is the sign at a store that said "ONLY 2 cases of Spam per customer."
We sent some tourists who couldn't get to the airport to the Costco. "Go there," we said. "Lots of people. Ask them where the emergency shelter is." They called back. The hotel down the hill had sent all their evacuees to Costco. There was free food, there were hula dancers and live Hawaiian music. Now we know where to go in an emergency. Only in Hawaii, eh?
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Eh, Michael, what about reading??? We had to evacuate -- we're a few yards from the beach -- and I looked at my book shelves and asked myself, "If I only had one book to read for the next few days, what would it be?" I picked up "The Epic Tale of Hi'iakaikapoliopele" which I had gotten distracted from finishing after reading about 25%. I read another 50 pages on Saturday while hanging out at Kailua High School. And I'm still reading - this time I'll finish it. Have to find another one for the next tsunami!