Murphy's Law, HotForWords, and when romance lies in the dust ...
One of the guilty pleasures that I find myself indulging is watching Marina Orlova, the popular Russian-American etymologist and HotForWords YouTube sensation, as she explains the origin of words and phrases. Check out the Google for an introduction to my favorite language teacher: "Not your typical philologist. Etymology, philology, word origins, origin of, hot teacher."
Marina, who was once told that she could not be a model because at 5-5 she was too short, is now raising the language IQ of thousands of devoted students. A year ago she had 200,000 YouTube subscribers (as a blonde). This year, even as a brunette, Marina continues to shine and win more fans.
Receiving an email with a link to her latest lesson is always a treat. Yesterday's etymology lesson was on Murphy's Law ("If anything can go wrong, it will! But, who was this Murphy guy?"), an informative, humorous, and entertaining lesson in under four minutes. English classes were never this much fun!
Speaking of Murphy's Law, a couple of days ago I found an intriguing article on Slate.com about what happens to the engagement ring when romance lies in the dust. If the bride calls off the engagement can she keep the ring? The article, by Casey Greenfield, is "For This Ring I Thee Sue." It says more about the law than about romance, and I was struck by this passage:
Contract law takes the view that the exchange of a ring for the promise to wed constitutes a binding contract. It's not the most romantic narrative, but in a court fight over a diamond, romance already lies in the dust.
Romance lying in the dust. It's the opposite of the happy ending that we all enjoy with romantic comedy or romance novels. Romance in the dust, left behind, the romantic couple having moved on their separate ways. It's the ending I began to write for a novel until a friend told me I couldn't end the story that way. She wanted her happy ending, and she looked at me as if I were crazy to consider anything less.
In real life, of course, romance is up against it. Murphy's Law takes over. If anything can go wrong, it will, and only the strongest romances survive. Consider as well O'Toole's Commentary: "Murphy was an optimist."
I suspect that with the odds stacked against romance at every turn, we cheer wildly for the underdog. We desperately want romance to succeed, to triumph. On the screen, or between the covers of a book, when that moment of triumph arrives, Murphy's Law fades, O'Toole disappears, and romance escapes the dust. Even so, I still love Fitzgerald's ending for The Great Gatsby, where Nick Carraway stands among the romantic ruins of the story and praises his old friend.
How to keep romance alive and dust-free? Try whispering. It's intimate. It makes your partner lean closer. You can then whisper in her ear. Which reminds me of the Whispered Rule: "People will believe anything if you whisper it." And try not to think about Murphy.
Tags: Casey Greenfield, Marina Orlova, Murphy's Law, Romance, The Great Gatsby
May 20th, 2010 at 3:49 am
Michael,
Thanks for the compliments!
I also like your suggestion of whispering to keep romance alive, it creates the impression of you and your lover as one against the world! Plus, the physical aspect of leaning in, does create intimacy.
I recently heard a pickup artist suggest leaning in to the "target", looking her in the eye, and whispering in her ear, with a slight touch of your cheek to her cheek, thus creating what they call "kino escalation", or the escalation of touching. Kino, obviously coming from the word kinetic.
Touch is such a powerful tool when romantically pursuing someone, and your post made me realize that if one uses the "tricks" of the pickup artist trade on their current lover, it can't help but keep the romance alive as well, right?
Marina
May 22nd, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Thank you, Marina! "Kino escalation" sounds like a winner. I wonder what happens if your partner is already familiar with all the pickup techniques and says, "Ah ha, kino escalation! I know your trick!" (perhaps followed by "but you're doing it well, don't stop").
The word "touch" has so many uses. Dictionary.com lists 63 different meanings. Perhaps the most romantic meaning is "to affect with some feeling or emotion." We say that someone's words or actions "touched my heart."
"Touch" is quite popular in love songs. Diana Ross sang "Touch Me in the Morning." Barbra Streisand sings the moving "He Touched Me," which ends with the line, "He touched me, he touched me, and suddenly nothing, nothing, nothing is the same." Not bad! I think he must have done it right.