It's a moo point ...
Like love and other things, writing lessons are where you find them. For example, want to read some good dialogue, and learn from it? Look no further than my favorite coffee mug.
The mug, which was my favorite Christmas present last year, features text from UrbanDictionary.com. To illustrate the phrase "moo point," there's this dialogue from an episode of Friends:
Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, "does he like you?" All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Ephemeral, you say? Dialogue from a TV sitcom? Give us Shakespeare, you say? Granted, Shakespeare was a sensational writer of comedy, but his words are not on my mug.
This bit of dialogue is from a Thanksgiving episode that aired way back in November 2000 (season 7, episode 8, "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs"), but it lives on in reruns, on DVDs, on T-shirts, and on coffee mugs. The original text is kind of ancient, really, when you think of how fast pop culture spins these day. A modern classic perhaps?
It's easy to see how this piece of dialogue works. It's comic, and the comedy grows out of the characters. It's typical of Joey. It also advances the plot and forces Rachel to ponder whether the guy (in this episode it's Tag, Rachel's cute young assistant from work) likes her. The situation is kind of high schoolish, but that's all part of the fun.
The dialogue is quick and snappy, of course, with no long speeches, no big words, and a bare minimum of words to push the story and get the laugh. The short speeches pass the "will-it-fit-on-a-coffee-mug?" test. They also pass the "do-people-talk-this way?" test.
I have just one regret about my mug. I wish that it had Rachel's next line. She listens to Joey's explanation of "it's a moo point," and then she says this:
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Another laugh line, one that we get because by the seventh season we know Joey like a longtime friend.
With six well established characters to work with, the Friends writers just needed to toss an idea onto the table like a pizza and let the characters each grab a slice of the action. Here's the opening scene (what they call the "cold open" or teaser, before the credits) from that same Thanksgiving episode. Joey gets the biggest laugh at the end, but Phoebe and the others have their own moments. Enjoy!
Ross: (entering) Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
Chandler: No, no, no. No-no-no.
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Ross: What? That's like insanely easy!
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
[Chandler's watch beeps]
Chandler: Oh, okay, time's up!
Rachel: All right, I got 48.
Chandler: Oh that's not bad. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in…vegetables. Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Joey: Fifty-six!
